who knows

today was short, and speckled with highs and lows.

i woke up at around 5 pm, and was still tired. which is kind of lame. and now, 12 hours later, i'm beginning to fade again.

went down to Kelli's work and hung out with her during her lunch break... also chatted with her coworker, Gina. that woman is fuckin hilarious! and her personal life is rough right now.... she's my hero. one of many :p

sometimes i want to dig a hole and hide for a day or two. and when i come out, i hope somebody's taken over my life and fixed things. unfortunately, i know that's not going to happen, so i guess i'll keep limping along until something gives. and hopefully, it won't be me.

he seems closer to snapping, anyways. i just wish he'd leave me alone to repair and gather myself. but texting me daily is mostly becoming a bittersweet reminder of things i can't make better. like him.

i'd apologise for griping so much, but you know what? it's my fucking blog. if i can't complain here, then where? it's better than emotionally puking on people all day long.

unfortunately, you have to suffer through it before i get to whatever you're looking for.

what ARE you looking for, anyways?

yeah, it's time for this bug to sleep. i suppose i should've put a downer alert at the top of this blog, but oh well.

Currently:
Reading: same as before
Listening to: "Pistola" by Incubus <-- i love this song... here's the lyrics:

"Pistola" by Incubus

on the tip of my tongue
an offensive is poised and rearing
my intention: a bullet
my body: a trigger finger

and my pen is a pistola
they call me a fear, fear you,
yea my pen is a pistola

my secret arsenal
is an infinite, ageless inkwell
it's a fountian of youth
and a patriot's weapon of choice.

and my pen is a pistola
they call me a fear, fear you,
yea my pen is a pistola

on the tip of my tongue
an offensive is poised and rearing
my intention: a bullet
my body: a trigger finger

yeah!
and my pen is a pistola
they call me a fear, fear you,
yea my pen is a pistola